Yesterday for dinner, we had chili crabs. Fried dry with loads of dry prawns as the condiments. This one buy one lah.
Anyways, as i was seating down eating I had this conversation with mom. This all arised from an email from someone i know who is coming back from AU for a holiday. An ex-col whom i hardly heard from since she moved to AU about 5 years ago.
Don't you think its kind weird for people to write email with contents such as I have a big favour to ask you. Shall tell you more when i meet you. What kind of crap is that.
I am not very comfortable these days when ppl call or email me with such statements. I just went thru a bad expereince of a good old friend who said that to me but didn't want me to know more about the situation but just wanting That specific favour from me. I declined coz i didn't know the full story and from the looks of it, i might be putting myself in danger.
I asked my mom, how come God always put me in such situation. people only think of me when they are in trouble. how about me? Dont' I need friends when I am in trouble. But when i reach out , no one extents their hands. I wonder why.
I told my mom that sometimes I just want to give up on my faith. Coz i no longer understand God. And I wonder after so many years, whether its worthwhile anymore to go throught all these....
My mom said to me, if you think you're better off sitting at home and not attending mass anymore, then you try it. hmmmm.... no scolding nothing. Just that one phrase.
Yes, currently my situation at work and life isn't looking up very well. Doubts seems to be abundant. Also I have decided to leave the ministry that I have gone back to serve. Its back to square one but I am sure I will find another ministry which is less political....
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